Cricket news, taken exactly as seriously as it deserves. Written from Perth by a first-team number nine who fields at silly point because the captain wants him where he can see him. Satire, with the facts checked and the grudges real.
Jeremiah Louis Took 5 for 10 in Seventeen Balls and Was the Second Paragraph
Three career T20 wickets on Tuesday. Eight on Wednesday. Five of them at home, in the time it takes to make a tea, in a match where somebody else hit the fastest hundred ever.
India Are Sending a Fifteen-Year-Old to Japan and the Calendar Doesn't Care
Orange Cap, MVP, Emerging Player, bedtime. Now a gold medal to win in a town nobody can find on a map, in the busiest month the sport has ever scheduled.
Sussex Fined 12 Points for Being Poor, Told to Stop Being Poor by 2028
A county asked the ECB for help. The ECB helped. Then it docked them 12 points for needing to ask.
Bangladesh Won a Test in Darwin, So Australia Held the Next One in Mackay
Twenty-three years without a win in Australia, then one in a ground built for Aussie rules, then a reply at a venue named after something you can see from space.
The ICC Is Investigating One Over. The ICC Has a Sentence for That.
A no-ball, a wide, fifteen runs in Chennai, a Canadian documentary, and the same statement the anti-corruption unit has issued about every over it has ever looked at.
The ECB Opened the Door to Gambling Money for One Summer and Nobody Came In
Sold the tournament for £975m, lifted the ban on betting sponsors for 2026 only, waited. Every shirt is sponsored by an estate agent.
Pakistan Sent Seven Players Home From a Series They'd Already Lost
Two Tests, two innings defeats, one dead rubber to go, and the PCB's answer was seven players out, two coaches out, one selector out, and two Mohammad Imrans in.
England Sacked the Vibes and Found Ollie Robinson in the Shed
Two years, 24 Tests, nobody looked. Then someone opened the door and he was still in there, holding a ball.
